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Sunday, January 31, 2010 A Tale on FriendshipAt a time when I was trying to figure friendships among women, I chanced upon a book by Liz Pryor, "What Did I Do Wrong? When Women Don't Tell Each Other the Friendship is Over." In her book, she had written accounts of women who had run through troubles with their friendships with other women. Of all the accounts, I was deeply affected by the tale told by her grandmother who was 88 years old and fondly called, "Grams".(It has been some time since I read this story. Hence, the following account is based on the best of what I could recall.) Grams spent most of her youth with her best friend. They did almost everything together and settled down at the same time as well. They lived close by and together, they raised seven children; her best friend had four and she, three. One day, while Grams was on her way back from the grocery store, she lost her balance and fell flat on her face. Just then, she felt a tug on her waist and before she knew it, a strong arm lifted her and she came face to face with a man with the gentlest eyes. For the first time in her life, she knew what it felt like to be in love. For a year, she battled with her emotions and finally, she decided to pursue her heart. She told her best friend, knowing too well that she would not hear of it. Just as she had predicted, her best friend disapproved and told her to reconsider it. When Grams explained it to her husband, he accepted it graciously and gave her a divorce. Thereafter, together with her three children, she left with the man she loved. They got married and a year had passed. He got a transfer and they moved to another state. Just then, she received a letter from her best friend. Grams was hesitant to read the contents of the letter. She was afraid that her friend would continue to try to change her mind. Hence, she told her husband to throw it away. After 60 years of a wonderful marriage, Grams' husband passed on. While looking into his prized possessions, she found a letter that he had written to her expressing his love and gratitude. She learned that he had saved her best friend's letter. Sixty years later, she finally opened the letter and read the contents. In the letter, her best friend had apologised for not being supportive. She attributed her behaviour to the insecurities of losing a dear friend. She had understood and managed to reconcile herself with her friend's decision. She also hoped to visit her and hear from her soon. It was too late. Grams' friend had died a year before. Looking at the larger picture, no one is to be blamed. People come into our lives for seasons and there are many reasons as for why it becomes such, even if they are dear to us. We set apart when we have different lessons to learn. Life is short and when time is lost, we don't get it back. Hence, it is important to treasure friends and the moments we share with them. Once, I had experienced a strain in a friendship dear to me. Grateful that the values are mutual. I am glad that it had weathered the test of time. I hold close to my heart certain fond memories and I am still collecting my thoughts and reflecting in my little black book that would be read when I am 60. :) Hence, with my mother's golden words, "All these years, I never gave up on mine....," I would like to give thanks to all my girlfriends and I hope that everyone treasures their friends and friendships. Bearing in mind that once the moments are lost, they would never return.  Thachayini Coffee Talk at 10:45 PM
Glad to be "Cracked"An elderly Chinese woman carried two large pots across her neck, each hanging on the ends of a pole. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.  Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself. This crack on my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.' The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always  known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."I received this story via email. It was timely and I liked it instantly. Isn't it true for most of us? Each of us has our own unique flaw. But each of these flaws have their own purposes that make life complete and wholesome. The past month has been eventful and unexpected. A time for me to learn a lesson about myself for the great teacher I am. I have learnt never to let anyone doubt myself or my capabilities. And today, I had an opportunity to see for myself as for whether I had learnt that lesson. While imparting my knowledge to my student, I realised that I was good and I have become better. Labels: Motivation |
